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Im a mother of 3 beautiful children and a social work student.

Sunday, 17 October 2010

analysing the self

One morning I woke up and lay in bed looking out the window far into the passing grey clouds.

I knew I had to get up soon to wash, to dress, to feed the kids, to take them to school, to go to uni, to do the shopping, the cooking, the cleaning and then end the day once again.

For that brief moment of time laying in bed a sense of wonder washed over me, Why am i here? What really is my purpose? am I really even real or am i a figment of someone Else's imagination... Crazy thoughts I know, but that moment in time has haunted me since.

Its such a scary thought to think we get a few years at each life stage and if we don't get it right we cant get it back to do again. Instead we have to move on to the next stage with regret and with a supposing learned mature outlook. Its unfair I think to move through the life stages and not feel ready for them. To look older but feel just as young as you did years ago.

So what is it all for? Why must we all endure this mortal process? To live to breath to reproduce to establish.

Are we determined or are we making our own future? Is it really an open empty book or our the pages already written?

Is this one big test from higher means?  So we can prove our worth to pass on to the real existence of life?  Or were the Egyptians rite is this but a mere dream and life is yet to happen? 

Ever had the sense life is passing you by to quick?  One day you look at your self in the mirror and admire the youth that stands before you. Next minute you are confronted with a person you hardly recognise nor neither know!!! 

Its funny how life's memories flash in the minds eye those little moments you treasure those associated happy thoughts like little giggle pills, that you reach for in times of despair.

My favourite thing that we process as a human being is the ability to hold on to these executions like a certain smell in your mind and how it can bring back floods of memories we thought were gone.

Or music amazing how when we listen to it, it creates all sorts of feeling within sadness happiness love fear, now that is truly amazing.

I mean what I'm getting at is you hear so many negative things about us as humans are bad behaviour and are natural abilities to survive. 

But what about the amazing this we our.  Have we truly apprehend this do you think?

Am I the only one who thinks like this?

I need to know what other people think so i can know if im crazy or not """lol""""


  1. life truely is an amazing thing, but people don't have the time or desire these days to actually sit down and analyse there own lives.

    Our minds are so deep and vast, and a lot of the time we take this for granted.

  2. True and this might actually be the reason why our lives pass us by so quick.

    We are so compressed with daily duties in order to survive that we forget the real possible purpose to our lives.

    If only people could just stop for a few moments to an hour to reflect on their lives, dreams and asperations we make grasp a clearer direction to our overall purposes of why we were born.